Oh, I know that flutter in your stomach when you think about writing your wedding vows! It’s like trying to capture the entire ocean of your love in a single cup – how do you possibly put into words everything your person means to you? The way they make your coffee just right, how they hold you when you’ve had the worst day, or that look they give you that makes your heart skip even after all this time?
Take a breath, my loves. There’s no magic formula here, no perfect template that will make Shakespeare weep. There’s only your love story, told in your voices, and that’s exactly what makes it beautiful.
Here’s the thing – you two already know how to love each other perfectly. You do it every single day! Are you the couple that communicates through inside jokes and playful teasing? Do you leave sweet little notes for each other? Maybe you’re the pair that has those deep, soul-stirring conversations at 2 AM that leave you both feeling so connected and understood.
Your vows should feel like you. If you’re naturally silly and lighthearted, don’t force yourself to be overly serious and poetic. If tender and sentimental is your language, embrace that fully. Talk to each other about this – it’ll actually take so much pressure off when you know you’re both approaching this the same way.
Now, some of you might be thinking, “Structure? For something so personal and romantic?” But, hear me out! Sometimes having a gentle framework can be like having a warm hug when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
I love how one couple, created this beautiful outline together:
A heartfelt opening about what this moment means
The promises they wanted to make to each other
Their declaration of love
They each filled it in their own way, but having that shared structure made them both feel more confident and connected. It’s like dancing – sometimes it’s lovely to know the steps so you can focus on the feeling.
But maybe you’re the free-spirited souls who want to surprise each other completely! If the thought of not knowing what your beloved will say makes your heart race with excitement (the good kind!), then follow that joy. Surprise can be absolutely magical.
Some of you will feel so excited to share your love story with everyone who matters to you. There’s something incredibly powerful about making these promises surrounded by the people who’ve watched your love grow. They become witnesses to this sacred moment, and it can make your vows feel even more real and lasting.
Just remember, if you’re going this route with a big crowd, make sure everyone can hear your beautiful words! Nothing breaks the spell like guests straining to listen.
But precious ones, please know – you don’t have to bare your souls in front of everyone if that doesn’t feel right. Some of the most intimate, tear-inducing vow exchanges I’ve witnessed have been during quiet first looks, or through handwritten letters read in the peaceful moments before the ceremony. Your love is yours first, and you get to choose how to honor it.
One tiny request from someone who’s captured countless love stories – please, please don’t read your vows from your phone! I know it seems practical, but trust me on this. Get yourselves some beautiful vow books or write on lovely paper. When you see your photos later (and oh, will they be gorgeous!), you’ll be so grateful. Plus, you’ll have these written treasures to keep forever.
And here’s the most important thing of all – when you’re speaking those words, look into each other’s eyes. I know it’s scary and vulnerable and you might cry, but that connection, that moment of seeing and being seen while you promise your hearts to each other? That’s pure magic, and that’s what this is all about.
So go ahead – take that deep breath, maybe take a walk or do something that makes you feel grounded and peaceful, then sit down with your heart wide open. Remember, you’re not performing for anyone else. You’re simply telling your person, in your own beautiful way, how much they mean to you and how excited you are to build this life together.
Your love story is already perfect. Your vows just get to be the beautiful voice that tells it. And I promise to be there – catching every moment – so you can relive it forever.
